My name is Casey, I am 27 now, born in January of 1975 I was born and raised in Kitchener Ontario Canada I moved to Stratford Ontario Canada in 1994. I cannot tell you much about my illness while I was young but I can go on say so of family. I can tell you I was sick.The most memories I have are from about the age of 9 or 10. I was unable to do much being that I needed to be close to the bathroom at all times. I had a disease called Ulcerative Colitis short form it is called U.C. What happens is with U.C your large intestines become filled with ulcers along with your bowel causing them to bleed and cause you much pain. Your intestines always run in high gear causing you to have diarrhea bloody and mucus bowel movements. That is also followed by extreme pain. I usually spent days in the bathroom. I do not remember much of my hospital stays just the odd ones that stuck in my head. I spent a lot of time in Toronto sick children's hospital, I was sent there from Kitchener Waterloo hospital, My mother being told they did not know what I had or how to treat it. When I was 1 doctors told my mom I had C.F. But then later told her the machines were not cleaned properly so it was miss diagnosed, One doctor told her I was malnourished. I had one blood transfusion when I was seven but do not remember it. My aunt and uncle use to pick me up from the hospital and take me out for the day it was nice to see other things then just the hospital walls. I attended school in the hospital and went threw family deaths while in there also. In grade 4, I remember walking home from school praying I could make it home without having an accident in my pants but most of the time I did. My mom stayed home most of the time and took care of me and my dad worked a lot to cover hospital bills and medications. Life in our house was not normal and I do not think it ever could have been. My mom decided to ask the family doctor to see if he could help her find another doctor in London Ontario. The doctor we found was only an adult doctor but he took me for my moms peice of mind. He started me on more medication to try to calm it. Ascol 400 was the name of one of them and also Prednasone was another. I tool many others but truthfully I cannot remember them all. Dr Howard was the Dr in London who helped me a lot he knew we could not afford much and the medications and hospital stays were breaking us so most of my pills were given to us. Eventually my pills were cut and I only stayed on Ascol 400 that one seemed to help keeping it a little under control. I do not remember my teen years much just hanging out with my friends and spending a lot of time in their bathrooms. I went into remission off and on but still had some problems. Remission meaning I was not bleeding as bad and not in as much pain. I got pregnant at the age of 16 and had my daughter at 17. While I was pregnant with her I was in remission pretty much the whole time. But after she was born the pain and bleeding came back. I found that when it was my menstrual time my body went crazy and I lived in the bathroom for 5-7 days. I met my husband Doug soon after my daughter was born and he was ok with my illness. He babied me when I needed it. I had my son in 1993 at the age of 18 and once again was in remission then once he was born it was all crazy again. Things got worse though, I would be at work and have to call my husband or boss to come and cover me while I spent time in the bathroom. Ever tried pumping gas while taking bathroom breaks? Not an easy task. I applied for disability but was refused which meant I still needed to work. I would have good days and bad days, but most of the time bad. My stomach would start to swell and blood clots would come out of my rectum as big as plums. When I went to emergancy here in Stratford they told me my intestines were slowly shutting down. That told me things were not going well. I decided it was time to go see Dr Howard again and get this taken care of.  When I finally saw him he did not agree with me to have the surgery because I was so young but because I was married with children he decided to send me to a new doctor that did surgeries to fix this disease. That was in 1998 I met Dr. Plewis in London Ontario. He told me about this surgery that would never make me spend hours in the bathroom again. But it meant I needed to have all my large intestines removed including my whole rectum leaving me with nothing but a pouch attached to my side. I would work because my small intestines would be rerouted to an area on my right side almost straight across from my belly button. My small intestines would be pulled through my skin causing a stoma that out allow my stool to drain into the pouch. This was ok with me because I just did not want to be in pain anymore. So after talking with my husband he said what ever makes you happy dear do it. So I did. He told me it was a waiting list and was not sure how long it would take. About 4 months later on September 21st 1998 I was in the operating room watching the doctors put me to sleep.

The operation.

It was 4 am that morning my husband and I woke up to what would be my last day of having a bowel movement through my rectum. As we drove for an hour to begin this day many tears were shed in fear and some in anger. Only because of stress of this day. As we walked up to the floor I became more scared but not of the surgery but of how things would be. My husband comforted me and told me he loves me no matter what. Me being only 23 years old did not want to die yet. I awoke to a lot of pain hardly being able to even talk the pain medication were not working for me. I looked down to see this pouch on my side with this big pinkish red thing on my stomach under the pouch. I was scared but knew it was that stoma thing. The nurses came in the next morning to help me out of bed but being in so much pain I could hardly do it. I had a roommate come in and I over heard her say she was from Stratford which is where I live and heard her talking about her ileostomy. That was perfect because at least now I could have some questions answered. Her name was Michelle and she helped me in anyway she could. One night I started vomiting and no one would come to help me. She rolled over and asked "you ok?" seeing that I was still vomiting she called the nurse and came over and started to fix me up. She looked at my dressing and asked me "how long had this dressing been on?" I told her six days now. While let me tell you she was mad. The nurse finally came and belive it or not she wiped my mouth rolled me over put a sheet over my vomit and rolled me back over. Michelle helped me change my own sheets a few days later. I called her my Guardian Angel I could not have asked for a better one. Her doctor came in and she asked him to look at me because of this and he told her honestly he could not because if something happened it was on his hands. But he did leave a note for my doctor. After being in the hospital for 3 days I started to vomit again and was feeling very funny. The nurses were getting worried because my tempature was running very high and my blood pressure was extremely low. I was not allowed to move for anything. The doctor came in and ordered blood tests right away. They came back that my white blood cells were very high and so that means theres an infection in there somewhere. Now it was the point to find it. I had my first cat scan that day and hopefully my last it was very scary for me. The paper they make you sign does it for you. It says somewhere at the bottom people have been known to die from the dye injections if you feel anything un normal please let the nurses know right away. Now as far as I was concerned I was not having the dye. I was gonna drink the juice, but my body has different ideals. So after a few tears shed they hooked me up and started to inject. It felt like I was peeing my pants and the worst thing was the smell and taste it gave it was worse then the smell of gas. They found the infection it was not hard to miss seeing that it was bigger then my ovaries put. So that's when it began, the doctor decided he was going to cut me open but not while I was asleep because he felt I would not feel anything because I was not fully closed yet. I felt it and I let him know it too. Finally the day to go home came and I was still infected and still in a lot of pain. I was to have nurses come to my home 2-3x a day to change my dressings and a E.T nurse also known as a Enterostomal Therapy nurse. She or he was to come in and show me how to take care of my new Ostomy meaning ileostomy or external pouch. I said my good byes to Michelle and gave her my phone number and address and wished her well. Having my ileostomy was not a bad thing, I mean it was wonderful not having to spend hours in the bathroom or in bed sick. The only problem was I started gaining a lot of weight and for some reason it kept coming and coming. Every week I would go back to see the doctor so he could reopen the wound to let more of the infection out. I was unsure if this infection was ever going to leave. Other then the infection everything was going well on track I could walk a little better and was able to do a few things. One morning my nurse had come to see me and I was feeling pretty crappy in fact I figured it was the flu so did she so she informed me that if I was getting any worse to go to the hospital right away. I drove my children to school came home and started to vomit uncontrollably for 6 hours I lay on my bathroom floor unable to move I pulled myself up to go pick up my children vomiting all the way there and home again I crawled back to the bathroom and started vomiting again. My children managed to feed themselves and keep themselves busy. I asked for the phone and tried to call my husband a few times but could not get the number right, Finally after about 20 minutes I asked him to come home right now I needed him. He asked me if I could wait he was almost done work. I said no I need you now. He arrived home and he brought me out to the truck loaded the kids up and went to the E. R. Up there they were not sure of what was wrong nothing in the tests came back un normal and even the X-rays were ok. They pumped me up with loads of medications to get me to settle but that did not work either. My doctor at the time was gone so a new one came to see me. Dr Gonser was my life saver he order me to have the N.G tube inserted right away and to be admitted he would watch me closely. After a few more hours of vomiting over the N.G tube he said that was it prep me for surgery he was going in to see what he could find. Dr. Gonser assured me all would be well and he would let nothing happen to me. I awoke a few hours later in Intensive care hearing him yelling about my x-rays not being here. I remember hearing him say I have almost lost her once I will not lose her again. He found many scar tissue obstructions.  An obstruction is when something blocks your intestines causing food stool not to be able to pass through. Dr Gonser made a choice that saved my life. I awoke to my beautiful children and husband beside me on Valentines day. My friend Michelle came to see me again I guess to check to make sure the nurses were treating me right. She did not look well but still carried her butt up there. The the pain and the fighting was worth it to see them all again. With this surgery Dr Gonser felt it was wise to keep my stomach open so the infection could be managed better, seeing it now had been 5 months with it. What ever he did in there cleaned it up nice my infection was gone within the next month or so. A few months had passed and I was getting this awful rash on my tummy under my appliance. I had asked my E.T nurse what could be done? We tried everything but nothing would help it was treated as a yeast infection then suggesting I was not cleaning it right or applying all the right stuff. So I went out and bought everything you could imagine right down to glue that burned the skin each time it touched. My skin was always bleeding and weeping puss and peeling. It was unbelievable how this could happen. Finally after talking with many people and seeing doctors we all decided it was a pectin allergy. Many company's like Hollister, Convatec, Nu Hope you name it, called to see how they could help sending me enough products to last a good year. Nothing worked till I discovered Duck tape works wonders at least to hold my pouch on for 2 days. But the only problem was it hurt coming off. So that was it. I needed to find something that would help I did not care if I had top have surgery again I was gonna fix this problem. In the meantime I went through a few more obstructions and got over them, thank god no more had to be fixed with surgery. I recived a letter in the mail just before Christmas from Toronto Sick Childrens Hospital telling me I was one of the patients that may have recived tainted blood whe I had my transfusion. I was bewildered at this time no evening knowing I had it I called my mom and asked her she nicely informed me that yes I did have a transfusion when I was 5 but there was a catch the hospital gave it to me without parent permission. I was not dieing so there was no reason for it. Other then they thought it might help me. This blew my mind. I was angery and was going to let the hospital know this. So I did as they said and went for an HIV test which did come back ok but they told me I would need one every six months. So wrote the hospital out of anger and told them they had no right to do this to me and they should be paying for my doctors visits and my time missed off work. Ohip should not have to cover stupidity. Errrr I was mad I mad threats to sue but you know as well as me that it would have been a waste of time and no one could prove it. Christmas came and things were doing good other then the rash my health was better. I had been doing a lot of research about a procedure that was out that would change your outside pouch to an inside pouch using your own intestines. But there was a lot to find out before I jumped on it. Michelle called me and asked for us to get together to see her wedding pictures sometime after new years I told sure love too. I wished her a merry Christmas and told her I would call after Christmas was all done. New years came and passed so I called her up, excited to go see the pictures and her, her husband answered and I had asked for her. He was quite for a moment and said Casey she passed away on January 3rd. I was not sure what to say except I was sorry and I started to cry and hung up. Michelle was my angel and to this day I know she still watches over me to make sure I am safe. I only wish I was there to help her. This scared me a lot because she died because of her disease and because it got to far and no one could help her. All anyone could do was to keep her comfortable. Bless her soul. My self esteem was slowly dropping causing a lot of depression and anger. It got to the point where I was regretting having this surgery. I knew it was not the ileostomy's fault it was my own but unfortunately there was nothing in me to fight to fix things. I made myself wear clothing that was 2 sizes to big only to hide everything that I thought people could see. I continued on with my research to find out more about this internal pouch. The name of it was a B.C.I.R meaning Barnette Continent Internal Reservoir. The only people I found were all in the United States, so I figured I would not have any chance but still I sent away for more info. I was sent a video and books to explain more from a E.T nurse in Florida her name is Susan Kay she helps run a site called B.C.I.R the web address is http://www.bcir.com that's if you want to check out some other things or even send away for info. She is very helpful and will even call you. I then started searching other web sites that lead me to a list of others that have this surgery done.  Things with my husband and I turned bad he decided he was leaving me after a few months of him seeing another woman. At first I was not sure why because I gave him everything he wanted and needed. But then when I found out who she was I understood. I saw her as a whole woman, someone that had all her body parts and no extras hanging around. She in my eyes was almost that perfect person I wanted to be, very thin and well when she walked by men looked at her. It just so happens she was one of my good friends at the time. My husband and I had just bought a house and 2 months before move in date he decided that he was moving out. So we told the children and he wanted to give up the house. I on the other hand figured I had a say in things so the kids and I moved into our new house and tried to move on. My parents moved in with me. I needed support and they could help me so they packed up their life where they were and moved an hour away from where they have lived for many years. Parents seem to always be there for our rescue. I blamed myself over and over again for him leaving blamed it on the bag the fat and well just me. My dad told me I did not need him and that I I was beautiful and no man like that deserved me. Gosh I love dads they always know what to say. Don't get me wrong moms do to but it was just that special moment thing I guess. So I figured if I could make myself prettier maybe he could love me again. SO things started getting more serious I needed this B.C.I.R in order to have my life back. I needed my husband back I needed a full family and support. A few months later he came back and we tried to fix our problems. Things still are tough but we get through them.I know most of you are thinking Why? well because when your married most vows have to love honor and respect but also forgive not always forget but its a start. One day while surfing the net about B.C.I.R stuff I remembered my girlfriend Michelle told me her doctor was the top in Ontario so I figure he its worth a shot and why not give him a call. They set up an appointment with me to talk with him about the surgery I was going to see him not even knowing if he did the surgery but it was worth the drive. The doctor's name was Dr Taylor in London Ontario Canada. Smart doctor but seems unsure of the procedure because he kept asking if I knew anything about it. I think I knocked him off his seat when I knew right down to the statistic of the death rate and the complications told him this is what I want and my mind is set. If he cannot do it I will find someone else even if I have to go to the states. He told me it was going to be a long wait and going to the states I could have it done faster but it would cost me some. Ohip would cover some of it then I would pay the rest. The wat home that day I cried I guess out of fear and happiness. My husband was asking me what was wrong I told him out of honesty I was doing this because I wanted our marriage to be whole again. He told me it was but I knew different. I got to the point that I was always thinking he only came back to me out of pity said no but something in my heart told me different, I guess it was the way he treated me. He told me to do it for myself. Not him. But I wanted all of his love. My next appointment was pretty much the same he tried to turn me away but me being stubborn and pigheaded said no I need this. He told me there was a few things I needed to do I needed to lose weight before my surgery because I was over weight. Being 5'2 feet and 183 pounds I knew it to. I need to talk with others that have this surgery and find out more. I agreed and for the next six months I called his office once a week to get a surgery date. I looked on the Internet and found a list of more people that had the B.C.I.R and came across one girl by the name of Jocelyn who lived in London that also has this surgery. Seeing that she was also young I figures hey what the heck she could answer all my unanswered questions. Finally after months of calling Dr Taylor they gave me a date January 28th 2002. The date is also my anniversary of my husband and my first date. SO it should be a good date. I was also 5 days after my 27 birthday so I needed to plan a big party for this year. Jocelyn and I talked via e-mail she answered any question I needed to be answered and even offered to meet with me to show me how to drain and just show me the gist of it all . So the waiting began and each day I stroked it off on my calendar. The day came once again leaving my house at 4 am we took the long drive back to the hospital but with new thoughts this time. Thoughts of happiness that I would have no more bag stuck to my side and I could wear normal clothing again. As I lay there on the table Dr Taylor told me there was a chance I could wake up and still have the bag because of all my scar tissue but he would change the side if I needed it to say so my skin could heal. I feel asleep to awaken to more nurses around me poking and proding me telling me I was doing fine and the surgery was over. My pain at this time was not as bad as the first ileostomy it was actaully a bit better. But still with alot of tubes coming out of me and it was scarey. I asked my nurse where my husband was and I think I remember her saying oh he's at the movies. He sould be back soon. I smiled an fell back to sleep. The first few days were the hardest trying to get my body back to normal. I had a hard time walking this time. But I did it. The tubes started coming out slowly and eventually about 7 days later I had two tubes left the one in my jugular vein and one in my stomach. The nurses taught me how to drain but one night the tube did not want to flush out. The ended up calling Dr Taylor at 11 pm to have him come in and help out. He had just gotton home a while before and was relaxing with his wife. I told him I would owe him a bottle of wine or something. I figure I would give him a bottle of beer cause you can never go wrong with that if you don't like give it to someone when you get company.So they saw I was doing fine set up for me to meet my old E.T nurse and show her the B.C.I.R becuase she had never dealt with anyone that had it seeing I was onlt one in my area that had it mind you there is not many that have it. For seven weeks I lived with a tube sewn into my stomach to depost waste into a bedside pouch that was connected. I streched the internal pouch by clamping this tube for 1 hour on 1 hour off each week I went and hour so I eventually got to 6 hours on 6 hours off. The first week I did nothing with the tube because that was my hospital stay time. I was very discouraged at first because I was unable to eat anthing with peels or seed. I could not eat salads or certian meats. I lived off mashed potatoes and mashed carrots it seemed to be the only thing that digested. By the time the tube came out I had already lost 26 pounds I did not lost to many before my surgery mabey 10 pounds at the most. I was feeling wonderful I decided I would go back to work I started wearing smaller clothing and wow I felt great. My friends at work were shocked. I was back to work 3 weeks when things turned bad. I came home from work one night had supper and about an hour later I felt this big POP inside my chest area. The I felt these tiny little bubbles popping all over. It felt like a bad case of gas so I ignored it and treated like it was gas or heartbun. I walked upstairs to my bathroom to do my drain and about climbinh up my 14 whole stairs I could not breath I started getting pain in my chest and in my stomach and back. The tightness in my chest get getting worse and worse. I got on my hands and kness and rocked back and forth hoping to pass this gas some how. I went back down stairs and at this time my breathing got worse. I walked back upstairs and called for my husband. I told him I needed a little sleep because this hurt so bad. He said "No" you need to walk it off move around so the air works its way up. I slowly walked back down stair again and say on the stool trying to be comforatable enough to breath and not to be in pain. My neighbour came over to see me and I could not even talk to her. I just shook my head and smiled. I said all was fine even know it was not. My husband asked me if I was ok I said yep it will come out sooner or later. But truthfully I felt like I was dieing. I was being stuborn again. Finally about an hour later with all my strengh but coming out quietly soft as a wisper I said "hun we need to go" that was it we were in the truck on our way to the hospital. I could not breath anymore and the pain was so bad I felt like vomiting. I walked in to emergancy while my husband parked the truck. Barely being able to walk or breath noone even came to see if I needed help. Tears rolling down my face I walked up to a nurse and said help. She kept asking me What seems to be the problem tonight. I tryed to answer but I could not I could not even move my head. She sat me down and started asking all the normal questions what is wrong where does it hurt took my blood pressure and temp and everything else. I cried and cried till finally Doug came in and said "Get her in a room NOW" The nurse argued with him telling him they needed to know what the problem was so they new if others needed more help then me. Doug started yelling I WANT A DOCTOR NOW over and over till the nurse took me back in a room and told me to undress myself and lay on the bed. Doug undressed me because by this time I could not move. Doug told them to call Dr Taylor right away and he wanted a doctor in the room now. The nurse kept telling him well theres other people ahead of your wife she will come when she is done. By this time again he was yelling. Next thing I know the doctor is in there asking the same questions Doug asked them if anyone read the charts around here that everything is on it. Then he told them to call Dr Taylor right away even before they touch me. So after him telling them for the final time what the problem was and what I have is called a B.C.I.R and explained to them that no one in Stratford hospital knew what it was they called Dr Taylor. He told them to do xrays and start me on fluidsand pain meds. Which they did right away or atleast I think they did. I remember the pain meds cause they hurt like heck in the butt. In the xray room I remember them telling me to stand up I almost lost it crying so hard because of the pain I begged them to take this picture with me laying down but they could not. The nurse asked me my pian level 10 being the worse and 1 being the least I told her 100 so she game me more pain medication but truthfully it did not work just made me fall in and out of sleep. The x rays came back and Dr Taylor told them they needed to start preping me for surgery right away then get me in the amblance right away. We were only told there was air in my stomach. They were told they had to drain my pouch and golly I have never seen nurses and doctors that have told me 20 minutes ago they knew all about the internal pouch and knew what to do with it stand there like dolls and say are you ok enough to do this because we do not know. We thought we knew. I remember inserting the a tube which my husband informed me later it was homemade he made out of tubing there because they do not have the right things there to even treat someone with a B.C.I.R. I awoke a little while later as they were inserting more tubes in me and more pain meds. I was scared at this time scared infact was not the word I was beyond that. All I could think about was making it to live the next day to see my kids again because I could not tell them I loved them, When I left. All I could think was please god don't let me die yet. The nurse had a handful of needles filled with morphine and god only knows what else. Asking my pain level and giving me meds when I needed them. One thing I can say is they kept me very comfortable knowing this was a very bad thing happening. The amblance ride was fast I heard the sirens a few times and saw the lights in the back window flashing. I remember the pain each time a bump was hit and I remember the nurses and amblance crew making sure I was ok. The lights were bright as they rolled me down the hospital hallway my body was numb and my thoughts were not there anymore. Infact I do not even know if I was there. I remembering blacking in and out it was like the lights were going off I could hear voices one minute then the next none. I rolled over once and vomited all over even some on poor Doug who could not get the dish fast enough. I told him I loved him and then more tubes were place inside me. They brought me to the operating room where Dr Taylor met up with us. He assured us that he was gonna fix me all up and everything will be ok. But there was a chance when I woke up there would be no internal pouch left. It was damaged and they would not be able to tell till they were in there. I looked up at him and told him I owed him a case of beer now one bottle would not do. He laughed and said it is good to see humor in there still. He took my hand and said everythign will be aright. After my good byes with my hubby I lay there on the cold bed thinking please put me to sleep so the pain goes away. The doctor in charge of putting me off to sleep informed me they needed to give me a direct line which is the tube in the neck because I needed more fluids before I could sleep. I begged them to put me to sleep before they put the needle in but they could not. It was painful I will not lie but the stich to hold it in hurt most. Finally I fell asleep. I awoke to alot of pain this time. Nurses standing around me assuring me everything is ok and asking the pain thing again. I remember asking a nurse if I still had my pouch and she told me no I remember the tears came rolling down and that was it I was scared I did not want to have the bag again I did not want the rashes or the obstructions.I was more scared my husband would not love me again. I awoke later to have Doug beside me and my children I cryed and told them right away how much I truly love them. I said the same to Doug. The more friends came in along with more family. It seemed like they were only there for seconds but it was longer as I was told.  My husband looked at my wound because I told him the pouch was gone he looked up at me and informed me hunny you still have the internal pouch. I was relived I cryed again. Jocelyn came to see me then for my first time. I was tickled that she came but wished it was under better curcumstances. Dr Taylor came in to see me and told me my pouch had gotten a hole in it one of the staples let go and it opened into my stomach. Letting things drain into there. Once again my stomach was left open with retension tubes inserted to keep the bad spots closed. I had many family call me along with friends who have all informed me that when they talked to me I was talking about death. I was saying that I was finished fighting and just did not want to do it anymore. Truthfully I think it was my inner mind speaking and because I was not consious at the time it was all coming out. It was really how my body felt but not me. I know it is confusing.  I got out of the hospital about a week later only to start all over with the clamping of the tube and wearing the bedside bag around. The first week home was crazy the pain was horrible I could hardly move I could not cough little spasms would shock through my back sometimes making me jump and hurt worse. I was taking peracet more then I was eating. The pain was horrible. After 2 weeks I went to the hospital here where once again they told me Yeh we know what a B.C.I.R is and then told me I had a kidney infection and to take a strong antiabotic to kill it. Then 1 week later pain still as bad I went to the hospital vomiting with a low grade fever where they told me it was a obstruction of the bowels and they would keep me there with fluids and nothing to eat or drink and bed rest. Then I was informed there was no sign of me even having a kidney infection. I was to stop taking the meds then. I was released the next day when I figured out that it was not an obstruction but only sun stroke and I had a wine cooler that day that made me sick. Another week later the pain moved to the front of my stomach the so called kidney infection so I called Dr Taylor he got me in the next day feeling my tummy he thought mabey it was an infection that noone had looked for. For some reason all my blood tests showed my white blood count high. He did an ultrasound where they found nothing except for little pores that have not filled in yet. They explained it like having a sprained ankle the more you walk on it there more it hurts and thats how my stomach was. I went home and a week later the pain left but 2 days later came back to the other side. It was almost time for my last visit with Dr Taylor so I went out and bought him and Jocelyn a special gift for being there for me and helping me when I needed it. Lets just say it was not a case of beer for Dr Taylor but the gift bag did have beer bottles on it. When I went back he asked me what was so different about me. Your know the normal questions did you cut your hair? I said nope, It could be the fact that now I have lost 53 pounds in 4 months. I felt wonderful and looked it too. Or so I was told. He told me I looked great but not to lose much more to fast. It was not me though it is just happening day by day. Now on a good day sit at 131 and a bad is 134 but I can now say I a proud owner of a bunch of size 9 jeans goodbye 13-16. Life is grand even if you need to go through pain things come out for the best in the end. Today almost 7 months after surgery I am now interducing salads and other veggies back into my diet. It is slow process but it will be worth it. Now I feel whole again and I can do is thank everyone for their thoughts and prayers and support. I am now seperated and I think it was a part of my life I needed to make a difference with too. I am happy and feeling wonderful. My soon to be ex husband still is a big part of all of this so I will not delete him from any of it.But I will say it has changed my life 100%. I want to thank all my friends and family Doug and Cecile and William (kids)...Jen & Greg Mom & Dad...Karrie & Dan ...Patti...Correne & Cookie...Aunt Carole&Uncle Robbie.... Aunty Betty ann & Uncle Fern....Crystal & Randy.... Grandma in heaven for watching over me ...Aunt Geo & Uncle Leroy ....Aunt Dawn...Jocelyn for guiding me through the B.C.I.R.....Aunt Dar & Uncle Vern....Little Lynda (binda winda)....Greg & Linda... Grandma Up north for all your prayers...Bill & Pie... Grandmother from the farm ...Aunt Carol & Uncle Chuck bear bear and toby ....Grandfather in heaven for holding my hand...Gandpa in heaven for telling me to keep fighting....Aunty Jill&Uncle Jim.....My mother inlaw Pat who was taken from us due to Cancer who showed me you can live with an ileostomy....My mother inlaw Jackie...Troy & Trudy for checking up...Mike & Tracy ...Thank you Damain for Loving me for me and helping me threw it all. All my friends and staff from Wendy's Restruant in Stratford Ontario Canada. All my friends from Msn Chat 19t kitchener waterloo and area And to everyone from IBD sucks who called and prayed.... Please remember to live life day by day and take things for granted because you never know if you will be here the next day...

Thank you everyone and God Bless you all.